Six confessions from a wedding planner that might surprise you

I will reveal the dirty little secrets every wedding planner has locked in their closet

Lara Barakat

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Planning a wedding may seem like fun, but you always need a helping hand, and it is a bonus if that helping hand is a wedding coordinator. They design your wedding day, keep your bridal party and vendors on schedule, prevent disasters, and do it all with a smile. Wedding planners are on site and ready to take on any obstacles that might upset the bride.

However, deep down there are things the planner would like to tell you but cannot, most probably because she would get fired if she did! I will reveal the dirty little secrets every wedding planner has locked in their closet.

They do not want to do your dirty work

Wedding planners are meant to keep everyone in check, but there is only so much they can do. Brides often use their position to ask their wedding coordinators to un-invite guests, or break the news to certain family members that they are not welcome on the head table.

When it comes to pulling off a wedding, planners can move mountains, but that does not mean they can whip attendants into shape or repair relationships. These sticky situations should not be on their list of duties, but they can advise the bride on the best way to approach certain situations.

They are not personal assistants

Wedding planners have a long list of wedding-related to-dos to insure your day runs smoothly. However, she is not your personal assistant, so getting coffee, fetching your dry cleaning, booking doctor appointments and babysitting during the ceremony are not part of her job. Your planner cannot make sure things go as they should if she is changing diapers and chasing screaming toddlers.

Time is money

Every bride is important, but you are probably not the only client on her list. Time is valuable and it is not free. Use your appointments to address all the important questions you need answered. Minor details can be discussed via email or with your maid of honor.

Wedding planners have trusted vendors – it is best to always use ones that have been recommended for you, rather than taking time to visit new ones in every appointment. If you want her to hold your hand every step of the way, you are going to have to pay for it.

White lies

Your planner is allowed to tell you white lies on your wedding day. They mostly keep certain information to censor the bride’s emotions and avoid a meltdown. In some cases, vendors may have misunderstood the planner or your requests. In such cases, the less you know the better. Brides who say their weddings went off without a hitch are not lying, but most likely they had planners who protected them from any problems that arose.

We want to hear your opinion

Planners are wedding experts, but they rely on the bride’s ideal image to create her dream wedding. Indecisive brides are a nightmare to wedding planners. They can offer suggestions, but at the end of the day it is down to your personal preference. They cannot point you in the right direction if you do not know what you want in the first place.

Do not be a bridezilla

You will not agree with everything your planner suggests, but no matter how stressed you are, remain calm when talking to others. You do not want to risk offending your planner.

Planners and vendors are used to dealing with bridezillas all day. They may have more patience and thicker skin, but getting married does not give you license to ignore common decency, and stress does not excuse obnoxious behavior. Be honest, cooperative, realistic and respectful. After all, your planner is your best ally in all this craziness, so treat her as such.

This article was first published here.