How on-off relationships actually mess with your mental health

Emily Sargent
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If you’ve been in an on-off relationship, you may understand the negative effect it can have on your mental health.

According to a study, these insecure relationships were associated with greater psychological distress, such as depression and anxiety.


Out of 500 individuals, all currently in couples, 60 percent of them have been in both a less stable and committed relationship, according to the study at the University of Missouri, Columbia.

These less-stable relationships can also involve a higher rate of abuse and lower levels of both communication and commitment, according to research.

These features will make you feel insecure, doubting yourself in every-way, and will make you feel emotionally afraid, causing an unhealthy state of mind.

This insecurity triggers you to question and wonder to yourself why you cannot “sustain their (your) partner’s interest,” dating coach James Pearce has been quoted as saying.

This develops into jealously, causing you to feel anxious, which will also result in depression if these feelings continue.

The feeling of envy and resentment is frightful. Why? It just is. Jealously, to me, is a feeling that your mind cannot control.

Relationships end because of jealous conflicts. Imagine this. You walk into a party and another guy smiles at you. He feels as if you are betraying him and walks away.

Or he tells you about a previous relationship, but doesn’t reassure you by telling you that they care about you.

There’s no easy option. Ladies, the anger and anxiety will rise within you, and now you are just concerned. Completely concerned.

You take a break but then you go back to him, and the same problem occurs. What do you do? Break-up... again. Now, you’re distressed. There are ways, however, to reject this feeling of jealously and anxiety.

If someone is making you feel this way, a line should be drawn, Pearce also believes.

Yes I know. Easier said than done. “‘Your health is more important than spending time with someone who makes you so unhappy.”

Happiness can be defined by positive or pleasant emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy.

This is what you’re aiming for. Here are ways that you, as an extraordinary lady, can achieve this.

So be positive…

Meryl Streep, award winning actress, says: “The formula of happiness and success is just actually being yourself.”

Value yourself:

You are the most important person in your life. Not him. You. Happiness comes from within yourself, not other people. Positive thoughts make a positive person.

Get active:

Recover from your heart-break and go for a jog.

Physical exercize can have a positive impact on depression, anxiety, and more.

Getting off the couch also relieves stress, improves memory, helps you sleep better, and boosts your overall mood.

See the people you care about:

Friendship is key for protecting your mental health. Seeing these special people will help you cope with this problem that life has thrown at you.

So go out, party, have a laugh and smile with them. These factors will almost 100% take your mind of him.

Here comes the cycle again…communicate

Guess what? After many weeks of partying and laughing, you now miss him. Yes, it is fine to re-couple again if you communicate.

However, you should remind yourself why you broke up with him, Kate Monk, assistant professor of human development and family science at the University of Missouri suggests.

It may not be easy, but it is crucial that you do.

You need to have clear conversations with your ex-partner about what went wrong and considering the likelihood of this issue returning in your new start, Monk also advises.

If the problems return, leave for good and wait for the gentleman.

So, please do listen to Monk, and remember: Your happiness and positivity is the way for a positive mental health.

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