Everybody needs a boost sometimes – whether you feel perennially low or have experienced a minor setback and need propping up, read on for key tips on how to raise your self-esteem for long-term results.
1) If it feels wrong - don’t do it
I distinctly remember being 11-years-old and watching a classmate being mercilessly teased by my other classmates. Through fear of not fitting in, I made a quick immature comment about his shoes, hoping I would then avoid being teased the next time.
As soon as I had made the joke, I felt awful. Being a bully wasn’t who I was. Nor was it something I wanted to be. Not only had I let my classmate down, but I had let myself down. I vowed then and there to always stand up for anyone being victimized and be true to who I was.
We often do things we know aren’t right but fear if we don’t do them, something bad will happen. If you want to develop high self-esteem, being true to yourself and what you believe in is a crucial step.
2) Say ‘exactly’ what you mean
Women are particularly bad at this. “Are you OK, dear?” “Yes, I’m FINE!” Hiding how we really feel teaches our subconscious mind that it’s not OK to express who we are or what we want. This has a detrimental effect on self-esteem and only leads to poor communication and relationships further down the line.
3) Stop trying to please people
If you’re constantly making decisions based on what other people think and what they like, you will very quickly forget what it is you like. What you enjoy. What makes you tick. You then end up in a trap of looking to other people to tell you who you should be and what you should do. Needing their approval. People with high self-esteem know what they like, what they don’t like and approve of themselves. Including both their “good” and “bad” bits.
4) Trust your instincts
People with low self-esteem often hate making decisions and will avoid them at all costs. This is because they have stopped trusting their ability to make good decisions. Possibly because they’ve been relying on everyone else to tell them what they should do. It’s time to start trusting your instincts.
Whenever you need to make a decision or take action, take 10 deep breaths and ask yourself, “is this what I really want? What feels like the right decision here?” The more decisions you make, the better you will get at them and the more confident you’ll be in making them.
5) Never speak badly of yourself
If you want to have high self-esteem, it’s imperative you speak about yourself as if you are your best friend. With love and respect. Speak badly about yourself and you are disrespecting yourself – hammering your self-esteem into the ground. Be kind to yourself and be your own internal cheerleader. Take time to celebrate your successes, no matter how small, and watch your self-esteem soar!
6) Follow your dreams
“That’s a stupid idea.” The moment we hear this, our dreams are shattered and we give up on them. People with high self-esteem ignore what other people think and stay focused on their goals.
7) Learn how to say ‘no’
Saying “yes” to everyone and everything leads to burn-out. You spend so much time focusing on other people you neglect yourself. Learning to say “no” gives you the time you need to recharge your batteries and do the things you enjoy. It also means you’re giving other people to learn how to do things for themselves – which in the long-run is way more beneficial for them than if you keep doing things for them.SHOW MORE